Do you ever wonder why there are certain patterns repeating in your life just as they did in your family? For example,
Human beings carry traits and attributes from their DNA, which means we carry them from our family lineage. We all have a family system which consists of our parents, grandparents, ancestors. All the living and dead of the maternal as well as the paternal side are our DNA lineage.
For example, a child born in the family looks exactly like his grandfather or a daughter is a spitting image of her mother. All of this is possible because of the information coded in our DNA.
Similarly, we also carry forward the sufferings of our parents, grandparents and our ancestors unknowingly exactly like the way we carry the good traits. We unknowingly suffer without really understanding the root cause from where are they originating. All of this leads to unhappiness & turmoil in our lives.
In order to resolve these recurring patterns, we need to bring about changes in our family system and let the flow of energy come back into action.
Family Constellation Workshop is a psychotherapeutic technique which aids people in identifying the core issues in their relationships. It was originally developed by Bert Hellinger who stated that all of us are unconsciously linked in a complex system of bonding relationships over three or four generations. Each of us inherit the psychological or emotional problems in our lives.
Family Constellation Workshop is a therapeutic approach through which we can explore the deeper, unconscious dynamics in family systems.
In family constellations we try to understand the impact of unresolved family issues, or secrets, and often become more aware of influences that our ancestors’ fates may still have in our life. Once these connections are identified, a healing process can unfurl the love that is inherent in most families but which is often obscured by pain, fear and anger.
While we inherit a lot of good things from our families, we are also vulnerable to carrying burdens, emotions, and traumas that inhibit our potential to make the most of ourselves and our relationships.
The Family Constellation Workshop not only allows you to feel the dynamics that you are caught up in, but also find better solutions with the ability to free yourself in a way that no other process can.
Family Constellations makes you self-reliant as it empowers the sense of connection, so that you can reclaim your innate ability to heal and free yourself from painful, limiting patterns. It works very deep on an unconscious level. Once you get free of these limiting beliefs and traumas, you’ll truly thrive in your work, health, relationships, parenting and family.
We offer you a 3 days Family Constellation Workshop filled with insights to understand how you are working unconsciously based on the history of your family. Click below to get more information about the Family Constellation Courses.
Trauma is defined as “severe emotional shock and pain caused by an extremely upsetting experience” (The Cambridge Dictionary)
Trauma counselling is a short-term intervention, which is appropriate when a person has suffered a traumatic incident.Trauma Counselling helps you to identify and come to terms with feelings and emotions you may experience during or after a traumatic event. These emotions will vary from individual to individual. Trauma can involve single incidents such as a rape, car accident, witnessing a robbery, divorce, loss of job, business losses or being involved in a natural disaster. Most people undergo at least one traumatic incident in their entire life.
Causes of Trauma
As previously mentioned, trauma is subjective and can have a multitude of causes. The common factor for events that lead to trauma is that they are not anticipated and are outside the realms of what we deem to be acceptable – physically, emotionally or socially. Below are some examples of events that could lead to psychological trauma.
This can refer to physical, emotional, sexual or verbal abuse. Anything that can be described as improper treatment that leads you to feel violated in some way constitutes abuse. The traumatic event could be a one-off attack or a recurring form of abuse that takes place over long periods of time.
Experiencing violence in any way can be traumatic. Whether you have been the victim of physical violence, threatened with violence or even witnessed violence – you could find yourself suffering from symptoms of psychological trauma.
Being involved in an accident can lead to a traumatic response. Examples include car accidents, a bad fall and accidentally harming someone else. Even if you were not physically harmed by the accident in question, being involved and experiencing the event can still lead to traumatic feelings.
4. Catastrophic events
This can relate to natural disasters such as earthquakes, tsunamis and hurricanes as well as man-made events like war and bombings. Being involved in these kinds of events can affect you both directly and indirectly.
5. Terminal illness/bereavement
Whether it’s yourself or someone close to you who has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, traumatic symptoms are often experienced. Equally, when someone close to you passes away (whether it’s expected or unexpected) you can start to question your belief system and shut down emotionally.
Trauma counselling supports you in identifying and coming to terms with the feelings and emotions you may feel during and after a traumatic experience. These emotions will vary from individual to individual, but the most commonly experienced emotions are anger and fear.
A person in trauma or a traumatic situation goes through a host of emotions. But most important emotions that they feel are anger and fear. These are two very powerful emotions and if they are suppressed, it affects the physical, mental and emotional health of the person. We often misinterpret or misunderstand such individuals as there venting out of emotions is not channelized. They throw fits of rage and anger. Of course, the responses are not limited to anger or fear, they could also feel shock, hopelessness, numbness, self-pity, feeling of being a victim and many such more emotions.
An effect of these powerful emotions is the activation of the “fight or flight” response. Your adrenal glands dump adrenaline into your bloodstream and you are poised either to fight for your life or to run for your life. While this was an appropriate response for our ancestors when faced with a saber-toothed tiger, it is not effective when faced with a thug holding a gun to your head – fighting or running is likely to get you shot!
As this stored energy generally has no physical outlet, it can manifest in a host of physical symptoms such as headaches, pain in the neck and shoulders, chest pain, stomach pain, diarrhoea, yawning and sighing, absent mindedness, nausea, tearfulness, disturbed sleeping patterns and short-temperedness or aggression.
Trauma counselling differs from traditional counselling and analysis in that it is typically short-term and often limited to one or two sessions. It is a fact that trauma counselling often uncovers other issues from the past that have never been dealt with and in this case, longer-term therapy may be indicated.
Trauma Counselling can help you with the following:
Anger is one of the most common emotion that we all experience in our day-to-day lives, but still it is one of the destructive emotions as it most painful and destroys the peace and happiness from within keeping our state of mind in most negative shape possible. Mild forms of anger may include displeasure, irritation, crankiness or dislike over something or someone. When we react to criticism, threat or frustration we may become angry – and usually this is a healthy response. Anger may be a secondary response to feeling sad, lonely or frightened. When anger becomes a full-blown rage our judgment and thinking can become impaired and we are more likely to do and say unreasonable and irrational things.
According to the American Psychological Association, “Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion.” However, when it gets out of control it can become destructive. Uncontrollable anger can lead to serious problems at work and in personal relationships, and may undermine the individual’s overall quality of life.
Unresolved or uncontrolled anger can make us a host to an array of physical, emotional and mental problems in our life. To name a few are
Anger management is the process of learning to recognize signs that you’re becoming angry, and taking action to calm down and deal with the situation in a positive way. Anger management doesn’t try to keep you from feeling anger or encourage you to hold it in. Anger is a normal, healthy emotion when you know how to express it appropriately — anger management is about learning how to do this.
The primary goal of anger management is to help reduce both emotional and physiological arousal that anger causes. One cannot get rid of, or avoid things that enrage them, but certainly one can learn how to control their reactions. Anger Management helps the person to understand the possible triggers of anger on a physical, mental and emotional level.
Relationship counselling is a focused form of counselling on building long-lasting relationships by identifying the key conflict areas. This form of counselling can be for strengthening any kind of relationships like with parents, spouse, children or any other form of relationships. The major aim of relationship counselling is to identify the potential areas for strengthening the relationship and also the key points of conflicts. It is used to explore the areas of tension and also deal with all those issues that come up in the interpersonal interactions.
The most important point here is that relationship counselling is completely confidential. In the past, the role of the relationship counsellor was played by a neighbor, a friend or a family member with varying degrees of confidentiality and at times some degrees of judgments involved too. But a professional relationship counsellor offers complete confidentiality and zero degree of judgments while offering their advice. It is done in a safe place and all the necessary guidance and assistance is provided to strengthen the relationship.
Leading a busy life filled with day-to-day chaos and little time left for self-contemplation, relationship issues are very common today. Moreover, our entire space is covered with relationships all around like our co-workers, family members, friends, relatives, professional relationships which can be demanding at times and take a toll on us leaving us confused on how to deal and tackle them at the same time. Each relationship varies in their degree of closeness to us. For example, our family is the closest to us while our professional relationships and co-workers are limited to the extent of our professional lives.
There are times when one of these relationships starts taking your energy mentally due to a conflict or a misunderstanding or perhaps due to lack of communication. This is when the feeling of frustration starts building within and also affects the other relationships. Hence, it is complicating your feelings and emotions leaving confused on how to deal with it. This is where relationship counselling can help you explore the key areas affecting your life and look at the possible solutions to combat the issues.
Each person and each relationship in our life holds a certain position in our life and hence they are important to us and there is something at stake. There is an investment of our energy and emotions in these relationships and hence they are close to us. Hence, when there is something upsetting in the relationship, we feel our emotions and feeling in that relationship are at stake. The major issue in any relationship or the beginning of any conflict is based on a simple principle of expectations not being met. Both the parties can feel that expectations are not being met or there is something missing. This is what creates conflicts and we feel our position or feelings are unaddressed. It is absolutely humane to feel this, but it is also important to address this orelse the anger remains stuffed within blowing the relationship and its essence apart.
Marriage Counselling which is also known as Couples Therapy is a process of identifying and resolving issues that a couple is facing whether married or not. The aim of marriage counselling is to help the couple identify the key areas of conflict, but also to understand each other in a different light where there is compassion and love towards each other’s needs. Marriage Counselling empowers the couple by giving them the necessary tools to communicate better with each other, negotiate their differences, work out an effective way of understanding each other’s demands and expectations, thereby moving forward towards building a stable and a happy relationship.
In a relationship or marriage, there are two different people coming together from different backgrounds and upbringing. Hence, there will be differences of opinions as well as thanks to our busy schedules and limited time we get to spend with each other, communication to resolve these differences cannot happen at all times. So, we see that love is soon replaced with buried anger and unspoken resentments. Marriage counselling can help open new doorways to see each other differently as well as understand the importance of each other’s core beliefs and values.